PERSONAL BLOG

Hey friends!

You guise have been no more than amazing to me and I want to thank all of you. I’m going for the kill and not beat around the bush. I have decided to create a separate blog for all my personal or lifestyle stuff. You might be wondering why.. It’s because; 

I want to organize my blog. If you check how much I post about my life on this blog, and check how much I post about motivational talks, you’ll notice that it’s very imbalance. 

My other blog will be dedicated to my personal or lifestyle stuff while this one will be strictly on writing, and motivational talks. 

Thank you so much for understanding! 

Please visit and follow my personal blog: mylifeslemonsblog.wordpress.com

Thank you again friends! 

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TRUSTING THE PROCESS

Despite of all the pain you have caused me, doesn’t erased the fact that I still loved you and you still played a very important role in my life. You’ve made me realize things that nobody could have. Because of how I felt towards you, I took things to the extreme. Which should always be the case no matter what it came about. You also taught me the importance of expressing my feelings, and that it’s better to say too much than nothing at all. I could go on and on. I could try to justify how I felt today and now. I could try to convince myself that all the amazing things in the past is just nonsense or that I should probably forget. But I won’t. I think this is great and I think this is part of the process of becoming a better person. I think this is a test. How I handle this will affect the person I will be after I am through with this chapter. I think that everything will make sense later. So I thank you. I thank you for everything. 

PRECIOUS 4 AM THOUGHT

It’s four in the morning, I am sitting in silence, waiting for my precious little baby to fall in deep sleep. It’s quiet and my husband is fast asleep. I remember the first two weeks of being home after giving birth. I was exhausted. Naive but excited all at once.  having close to zero confidence about motherhood. Two weeks ago I wanted to cry and break down whenever my newborn cried. Yes, I did some pretty crazy research. Read baby books. But when this child cried infront of me, it was like standing  in a huge arena. Me against this child. All those research flew out the window. I guess you can say motherhood bitch slapped me in the face and the funny thing was that it wasn’t even half of it. I had no clue what I was in for. I thought I did. I was a zombie. Still am but I am managing. I doubted my abilities. I almost thought of giving up. I was afraid. That was two weeks ago. Although I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, I got to know this child. He mirrors my husband and I. It’s amazing how love can create such precious little human. Now I stare at him when he sleeps. I always do. And I am amazed of the fact that I was capable of nurturing him. I love him more than anything in this world. I am not ashamed of how I feel about this whole situation as a first time mother. I feel protective.. Most of the time I get a little too over protective actually. I fall in love over and over again when I look at him. I am nowhere near scared any longer. He’s mine.  He’s precious. He makes me love life even more. He brings my husband and I even closer than before. And I know this doesn’t end here. 

I AM NOT READY

There is so much I want to say to you, but I am afraid of what you will say back. They always say never hold back, and how it’s better to say too much and all, but I am the kind of person who do not ask questions when I’m unsure if the answer is only going to hurt me. Yeah. I don’t like to take risks when it comes to my own emotions, but yet I’m so quick to tell people “don’t hold back. “. Why do I do that? I have no idea. But maybe because I like to pretend I’m strong. It makes me feel like if I gave an advice especially a ballsy one, I would convince myself that it’s easy. Maybe because I want to cover up the fact that I am the one who stay up all night feeling sorry for myself because I can’t figure out what I should do to with myself with all these questions on mind. They haunt me. But I am not sure if I prefer that over the truth. I’m not ready. 

IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS 

Just because you do not understand something, doesn’t make it stupid. People like you make me sick. But then again, I can’t blame you. You were not educated well. But let me just tell you something, and keep this in mind. Maybe one day you’ll remember this moment. Instead of judging something you do not understand, learn why. Study it. Try to understand it. Educate yourself why people do the things that they do. You do not live in a little bubble. You live in a world full of people with different cultures and practices. People with different point of views and opinion about things. While I preach about being open minded, you should try to get out of the close mindedness. Ignorance is not bliss. You just look really dumb.