Today is my little baby’s second month birthday! He has done nothing but bring happiness in our lives. Hope you guise enjoy our little pictorial!
I have only been around for twenty two years and I know I have learned quiet a decent amount of wisdom and lessons. One of those is the fact that hearts do not break even. Everybody wants closure right? When it comes to separation especially. Good or bad. Closure is one of the things that people do not really get a lot when going through a break up. That’s why a lot of us hang on for too long. We wait around. Still hopeful.
Someone could break your heart today, and then move on tomorrow like nothing ever happened to them, while you’re in bed crying your heart out and over thinking about what you could’ve done differently.
So, what do we do? Well first, you’ve got to admit that things just happen. Sometimes for no reason at all. No justifying or you’ll spend your life questioning every little thing that happens to you. Sometimes, things just happen. So, it’s possible that he just woke up and realized he didn’t want to be with you? Yes. Oh yes. So.. Take that as your closure and go. Run while you can.
Take a good look at yourself. After that, ask yourself if you’re proud of how you are, or pay attention to every little details of your face. Pamper yourself. You’ve given your best. You don not deserve by less than that.
Chin up and look forward. Doesn’t mean jump into another person. Breathe in and out. Run. Take care of yourself. Sooner or later, you’ll meet the one who will treat you how you want to be treated.
Do not settle for less just because you’re scared to be alone. The best is worth the wait. Keep your standards high. You won’t be alone forever. Use this time to reflect and appreciate yourself.
My life lately is like a roller coaster. But in a good way. I have a son. I gave birth almost two months ago. Yet I still catch myself staring in spaces and thinking how I still can’t believe I’m a mom. And I have this little kiddo. Who grew inside of me. It’s crazy. I missed blogging. I missed putting random thoughts on here. I miss writing just because and I miss writing for the sake of just writing. I need to do it more and again. I miss it all. Looking forward to be back on here more often.
Here are some of my little baby’s photos. He is quiet a camera lover. Like his mommy!
Despite of all the pain you have caused me, doesn’t erased the fact that I still loved you and you still played a very important role in my life. You’ve made me realize things that nobody could have. Because of how I felt towards you, I took things to the extreme. Which should always be the case no matter what it came about. You also taught me the importance of expressing my feelings, and that it’s better to say too much than nothing at all. I could go on and on. I could try to justify how I felt today and now. I could try to convince myself that all the amazing things in the past is just nonsense or that I should probably forget. But I won’t. I think this is great and I think this is part of the process of becoming a better person. I think this is a test. How I handle this will affect the person I will be after I am through with this chapter. I think that everything will make sense later. So I thank you. I thank you for everything.
It’s four in the morning, I am sitting in silence, waiting for my precious little baby to fall in deep sleep. It’s quiet and my husband is fast asleep. I remember the first two weeks of being home after giving birth. I was exhausted. Naive but excited all at once. having close to zero confidence about motherhood. Two weeks ago I wanted to cry and break down whenever my newborn cried. Yes, I did some pretty crazy research. Read baby books. But when this child cried infront of me, it was like standing in a huge arena. Me against this child. All those research flew out the window. I guess you can say motherhood bitch slapped me in the face and the funny thing was that it wasn’t even half of it. I had no clue what I was in for. I thought I did. I was a zombie. Still am but I am managing. I doubted my abilities. I almost thought of giving up. I was afraid. That was two weeks ago. Although I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, I got to know this child. He mirrors my husband and I. It’s amazing how love can create such precious little human. Now I stare at him when he sleeps. I always do. And I am amazed of the fact that I was capable of nurturing him. I love him more than anything in this world. I am not ashamed of how I feel about this whole situation as a first time mother. I feel protective.. Most of the time I get a little too over protective actually. I fall in love over and over again when I look at him. I am nowhere near scared any longer. He’s mine. He’s precious. He makes me love life even more. He brings my husband and I even closer than before. And I know this doesn’t end here.