Hello everyone and welcome again. Okay so, I discovered this really cool app in my phone, it’s called Vent. The name itself should tell you what it is. It is where people vent about anything and everything. I have many apps like this. Lately, this has been the one I have been going back to. Just reading other people’s rant throughout the day is really interesting to me. If I have not mentioned, I get my blog post ideas from everywhere including apps like this. Well this topic caught my attention. So I am going to talk about it.
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS..
Hmm. Sounds pretty long.
How far and how long is long distance relationship and can they survive?
Here is what I think..
I believe that long distance relationships to survive. We do not hear much of success stories because we all focus on the bad, and that is true. I know people who were in a long distance relationship and now married and very happy. Granted, it is not an easy relationship. You have to have trust and you have to be able to reassure yourself when your significant other is not there to do it for you. I can say that I am not biased because I was in one and it failed. But just because mine failed does not mean others’ relationship cannot survive.
Being afraid to be in one is understandable and I can’t blame you, but I don’t think you should let distance stop you from loving someone. It’s not like you can anyway, but I am just saying.
Why do you put your self esteem in the hands of a complete stranger?
Hello ladies and gents. Today’s topic is about our self esteem and how other people’s opinions affect it so easily. It’s something that sometimes takes years to build up and then one day a stranger comes along, and out of nowhere spits a line of opinion, then all of your efforts are gone. So you start feeling like you have focused on the wrong thing all along.
This is for all those who let other’s opinion take charge of their self esteem.
Have you ever gone home from work or from anywhere after a long day and looked at yourself in the mirror and asked, “Do I really look that skinny?” or thought of something you saw on social media about someone’s opinion regarding a certain appearance.. Your appearance. So you start thinking about yourself and how you feel like a loser for feeling so attractive before leaving your house today. If your answer is yes, then I am talking to you.
STOP IT. People have different tastes, even you. You either like something, or do not like it. But just because you don’t find something entertaining or attractive, does not mean it’s ugly to another person. Why do you think some people prefer to live in the city and some prefer to live in the country? Because people have different tastes and opinions. So, for you to think of those thoughts after reading or hearing a person’s little opinion is very unfair. Unfair to yourself. Take pride of your own self. You should know and you should tattoo this in your head. You are unique in your own way. So wear any dress that you like, work out if you want to. Eat the last piece of cake. Do what makes you happy and stop letting others take charge of your own self esteem.
Somebody asked me an interesting question today, and that is.. How do you cut off toxic people? My answer is simple, and that is.. SIMPLY STOP TALKING TO THEM. “But it’s not that easy.” YES IT IS…
It really is. As we grow up, we face reality also known as priorities. Different people have different priorities. I am a 21 year old woman and I am pregnant and married. My priorities cannot be the same as a 21 year old woman who is single and is working on getting on a Mercy Ship. Although it is a great thing to do and I applaud everybody who is on that ship or has been on it. Or my priorities cannot be the same as a 21 year old woman who is single and loves to party. There is nothing wrong with that just so I am clear. I hope you get my point.
At some point of my life though, I had to cut off toxic people for many reasons and the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can become a happier person and become a more productive human being. If that someone you are wanting to cut off is a close friend for a long time or someone you have a great attachment with, try talking to them first. Tell them how you feel. I would not cut off someone without attempting to make things better. So, tell them and so the ball is in their court. They decide. And if nothing changes, then just cut them off. No contacts or emails sort of cut off. Because we all grow up and sometimes we have to make adult decisions for the sake of our own happiness.
You should only surround yourself with people who push you to want to become a better person. Trust me, you need them. And if you are in the stage of thinking about cutting off toxic people, 99% of the time, this is the time where you realize that your family will always be there for you no matter what.
Give them huge hugs for me.
Ending a relationship is not an easy thing to do. If you are feeling guilty because you left her for not being happy, don’t. Give yourself a pat on the back for having the balls to do it. That means you are not selfish and you have decided to not lead her on any longer. Not that you did intentionally. Time just made you realize that you are not meant to be with her. There is nothing wrong with that. That is why we date people. To see of we are compatible with each other. You are probably sitting there feeling like a complete a**hole for breaking her heart and for making her cry, but you are in fact doing her a favor for not depriving her of what she really deserves. You know she deserves somebody who would do everything and anything for her, somebody who would always look forward to seeing her at the end of the day and not avoid her like you did. She will be upset, she will call and know that she will probably cry herself to sleep, but always remember that your intentions were good and better for both of you. You realized that you are not the one for her and letting her go now is better than dragging her longer. Give her time and expect her to feel a little bitter. Let her heal, and one day when she finds the man who will love her completely, she will thank you.
If you are feeling down, the most important thing to remember is that it is not permanent. You are not alone. Even if you feel like everything is a blur right now, whatever it is, it will pass. Also, feeling down is normal and everybody goes through it. It’s what makes us appreciate the good times. Cry if you must, or take a nap. You deserve a break, so do not feel guilty for feeling what you are feeling right now. Watch comedy or try to divert your attention by doing something that you really love. Maybe draw. Most of the time it helps.
Talk to somebody and do not be afraid to ask for help if you cannot seem to turn it around. Again, you are not alone. You are loved and people care for you, even if it might be hard to see that right now. Reach out to your family and friends, or ME! You are strong. Hang in there.
Heartbreaks are something that nobody can get away from. When it happens, it leaves you hanging, it leaves you disappointed, and leaves questioning your own worth. For a moment you actually think and believe that you are unlovable. It makes you wonder if you could have done something differently when really, it was not you.
Heartbreaks make you doubt the expectations that you had when you were a child. Whether from watching Disney movies or from watching your grandparents love and grow old together. Heartbreaks also make you feel like you have to settle. Heartbreaks are scary because it can blind you from what you really deserve.
But heartbreaks are also a blessing because you learn from it. Heartbreaks are a blessing in disguise because it makes you realize the things that you do not want in a relationship or in a person.
My first relationship was in fact the worst relationship that I have been in, but only because I did not know how to handle anything back then. I was treated poorly and I let the boy take me for granted. When we broke up, I was devastated. Of course, because the idea of dating was new and again, I had no idea how to handle it. Time passed and I healed. Now, every time I look back to the experience I laugh at it and think of how stupid it was for me to think like it was the end of the world. But I guess that is also normal.
The experience taught me things that I would not have learnt if it was not for the heartbreak. I also dated other men and experienced a couple more heartaches. Every heartache felt like a fresh new one every time it happened but in experience, I learnt something that contributed to my happiness now.
I learned not to let anyone take me for granted. I learned not to let anyone step all over me, I learned not to settle for anything that makes me think twice and a lot more. I could go on and on forever. It is a long journey but I can finally and honestly say that to me, heartbreaks are a blessing in disguise.