Everytime I visit my grandmother, there is one thing she never fails to do. No, I’m not talking about her giving me bear hugs and telling me she missed me or asking me if I already ate. Which would be really nice. She never fails to ask me when I am going to get married. No granny. I am not getting married, I don’t even have a boyfriend. Why do old people feel the need to ask that question? It’s kind of personal you know? I don’t know about your granny, but mine believes that a woman should be married before turning 25. And if you don’t, you’ll be a left over and no one will ever want you and you will grow old alone. Mind you, she told me this when I was only eight. It did not impact me much but I have to admit, it’s definitely something that stayed somewhere in the back of my head. I kind of grew up anxious about when I am going to get married and if I ever. Kinda sad right? But then I got over it. I’m happy with myself and if no one sees how special I am like the way I see myself, then screw everyone. That just means I can adopt more shelter dogs. I love you granny!
Some people change when they get hurt. Not because they’re weak but because they were brave to love without restraints. They were brave because they took a huge risk. Probably even knowing that love is not always a happy ending. They change but then sooner or later they’ll grow out of it. In a good way of course. They will learn and sadly, some people with a brave heart like them, decide to love differently in the future, or at least they will try. Because they will know how much it hurts. But then again that’s not something they can control. That’s not something anybody can control. Because when the heart decides to love, forget logic. The heart and emotions somehow always wins.
I have always promised raw thoughts and opinions. This is what my blog is here for. I see something, I read something or I feel something. I react by writing. For many reasons. But one of my favorite reason is the fact that when I write things. It’s simply words that flow through my mind, I write without doubting and thinking it through. And when I write, I don’t think of anyone’s opinions or reactions about it. Whatever it may be. Here’s another one for you.
When you come up with different kinds of scenarios in your head and they end up making you crazy and pissed. Most of the time at yourself or just the situation. And we all know that situation, it’s the simple fact that you want someone, but they do not want you back. Be mad all you want, feel all the emotions that you wish to feel. I assume it’s normal. Because I’ve felt it before. I’ve said this before and I will say it again, things happen for a reason. You can choose to let your thoughts and hatred or sadness drown you, or you can choose to accept it and move on. I mean, it’s not that I do not feel bad for you, my point is just that you shouldn’t let this negative thing affect you long term. Especially how you see or how you are when it comes to your future relationships.
It’s not me, it’s not anyone else, it’s you and your incurable narcissism and shitty personality. Having a strong personality is fine. In fact, I know a lot of people who has it. But you, you’re something else. It makes me believe that you weren’t given enough attention as a child so now you want it all. You refuse to bend backwards for people. You step on them to put yourself on top. You’re brutally rude for no reason, and you call it honesty. I call it being a shitty person for no absolute reason. And you wonder why good women stay away from you. They stay away because they’re smart. I feel so sad and bad for anyone who dates you. You suck their happiness out of people and you make everything all about you. I hope one day you wake up and realize that there’s always somebody better and bigger than you.
Strangers can become bestfriends just as easy as bestfriends can become strangers. That’s what’s interesting about being around different people. You never know what’s coming next. Because we are like a walking little universe, different things pique our interests and it takes only one word and a second to be standing next to someone and then you just click. And the same goes to bestfriends. It doesn’t matter how long you two have known each other. It takes one word and a second, depending on how strong you believe your friendship is, two people can separate ways the same way and just as quick as you two became bestfriends.
Don’t waste your feelings on people who do not value them. Emotions are so precious, especially if it’s love. But somehow, a lot of people believe that as long as they show 100% interest and effort in the other person, the other person won’t leave. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Atleast not always. Yes, it’s posible that they wake up one day and then decide to love you and appreciate what you’ve already done. But don’t you think it’s unfair? Don’t you think it’s unfair to yourself? Do you realize what you’re putting yourself through? Your own confidence? I guess this is something that I’ll always question. Maybe I do not understand. But I know that I wish for girls and boys to know their own worth and what they deserve. Someone out there is also wishing for a sincere person like you, who would gladly treasure you.