I survived because the truth is, I promised to love myself more than anything or anyone around me. I am not going to apologize for my selfishness because it is what brought me here. I figured, it is one thing I can give to myself because I know it is almost impossible for anyone to love me more than anything. I decided not to depend on anyone. If i can give myself all the love that I can, no one can step all over me. No judgement can hurt me. Instead of trying to impress others, I wanted and began to impress myself. Sometimes it’s all we need. And not caring about what others think of me have grown to be my second nature. And I love it. I don’t wish to live or think any other way.
He was never mine but losing him broke my heart. I don’t think you have to really have someone for your heart to break. Your heart will ache when you realize you have lost the chance to be the lucky one. Atleast that’s how you will feel. Your heart breaks when you see them with someone else. Your heart breaks when you see how they smile at the one they love. Your heart breaks when you see him look her in the eyes and play with her hair. Your heart will break when you see him hold someone else’s hand. Because you’ve always dreamed of holding his. You don’t only lose him, you lose your spark, your smile and then you will feel like you have lost yourself too. Losing someone you never had is worse.
I lost interest when your actions stopped correlating with your words. Yeah, you are cute alright. You are everything a girl would want to have and to hold hands with. You’re the type of guy who turns heads and you are the kind of guy every girl wish to fall asleep with. But you’re full of shit. And thank goodness it did not take me long to realize that, but when I did, I couldn’t look at you the same. To me, you’re a joke. And every word that came out of your mouth made me sick to my stomach. I almost want to smack you in the face everytime you open your mouth. You’re not worth it. You’re a piece of garbage. And you certainly do not deserve a woman like me.
One thing that is important that we fail to mention or to think about when it comes to dealing with situations is to respect ourselves enough to walk away from anything that no longer makes us happy. How? Well first you have to recognize the fact that you aren’t happy anymore. It’s important to ask yourself that question everyday when you wake up and right before you sleep. We need to value our feelings more. People tent to hold on to things or people and even relationships because they are still in love with the idea of what it used to be or how it used to feel. We want the same feelings that came with the package in the beginning and when it’s not there anymore, we sit there and wait. Some people realize it sooner than others while others waste their whole lives waiting. Don’t get left behind.
One thing I learned growing up, and that is that life is full of surprises. You wish and hope for one thing, sometimes you get it, sometimes not. When you don’t happen to get it, somehow something better always comes to place. So I learned to let things go. I learned to let things work and fall into their right places. It’s hard to be patient and it’s hard to just sit back and watch things work their own magic, but sometimes it’s the best thing to do. The earlier you realize that there are some things that you just can’t control, the better for you. Less stress and weight on your shoulders and the happier you are.
Do not fall in love with looks. Instead, fall in love with the way they look at you when you wake up in the morning and your hair is a mess. Fall in love with the way they say your name and the sweetness you taste when they kiss you. Fall in love with the butterflies they make you feel. Fall in love with their touch. fall in love with their sincerity and their willingness to be there. Fall in love with their efforts to make you feel amazing. Fall in love with their voice, not their looks and tattoo it in your heart. Fall in love with their thoughts and dreams of the future with you because that means he is serious. Fall in love with the warmth that you feel when you are in his arms. Fall in love with the respect he gives you.