You think you’re okay until you wake up at 3 in the morning sobbing your heart out remembering everything that you once had but now so out of your reach. It’s okay. Cry it all out. Cry until you run out of tears. Cry as loud as you need to. Hit a pillow. Cry to a pillow. Burry your face in it. Scream. Stay up if you need to. Cry it all out. Don’t go back to sleep until you feel a tad bit better. Cry until your eyes hurt, until they’re red, until they’re swollen. After all, you need it. Let all your emotions out. You deserve it. Don’t keep it all in. You don’t want those to stay in your heart. The moment you close your eyes and fall deep into sleep, you will have the best sleep of your life. You will wake up, maybe not close to happy, but you’ll wake up with heavy eyes and you’ll wake up hungry. You will want to eat and please do something for yourself. Run. Jog. Walk. Ride a bike. This is just a start.
Give yourself a break. Give yourself compliments. Give yourself credit. Give yourself time. Give yourself attention. Give yourself love. Give yourself power. He’ll let yourself be free. Get yourself ice cream. A whole tub of it! Tell yourself what you want to hear. You don’t need to wait in anyone to do that for you. Let yourself enjoy your passion without worrying about other people liking it or not. Without worrying about people calling you a weirdo. Be a weirdo. Be an awesome weirdo. Give yourself opportunities. Give yourself everything that you want. Give yourself to you.
I watched you walk pass me everyday and sat by the bench where I rested. I watched you watch her smile and adored her as much I adored you. You chose her over me. You said she was pretty. But I was a flower just waiting to bloom in spring and I had colors that were just waiting to burst. But it was not my time yet. My mother told me, my colors are to die for and my colors are vibrant. I hoped you would change your mind, and hoped one day you would come running to me and tell me how pretty I looked. But you did not want to wait. Instead, you went along with the seasons and every season I watched you adore others over me just because I was not ready. Until one day I finally saw signs of spring and still you were not around. Then all of a sudden I felt pretty. In fact, more than that when I saw my own colors starting to come out. My mother was right and I realized how amazing I can be alone. I will bloom, with or without you.