I WANT TO PLAY PRETEND


I want to walk in someone else’s shoes and be able to understand why they do the things that they do. I wonder a lot about what other people are thinking. Although I have no intention to care, I simply want to see how it is to be someone else and to see the world from another light. So I listen to different songs and imagine myself as someone else and try to feel the same emotions that the song describes. Or I sit in public and observe others and try to picture myself if I was them. Like the homeless man that I see everyday. For some reason, he is always walking and looks like he has to be somewhere. I want to know where he goes and I want to know where he sleeps. I also want to know how he is not tired from all the walking, or maybe he is. Everytime I see him, he carries a huge garbage bag and a gallon of water. I want to be him for a day and know how it is to walk all day. And then I want to write it all down. I believe that the way we see certain things is very far from how others see things even when they say they know exactly what we are saying or seeing. It is impossible. If you really think about it, you will see. Nobody is like me or you, so how can someone else see things the way You or I do? I want to play pretend. So then maybe I will understand why people do the things that they do. Or maybe to prove myself right and maybe wrong. 

I WANT TO WRITE, EVEN WHEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE


Have you ever sat there and think about how badly you want to write, but when you finally get a pen and paper out, your mind suddenly goes blank? It happens to me a lot. One day I am full of ideas and then the next I am completely blank. I have promised to train myself to write as often as I can and as much as I can and even if that means if I do not know what to write. 

I want to write because this is all I have been wanting to do and I have been ignoring for the longest time. I feel like I have missed out so much and the ideas that I had in the past were wasted. I want to write because I have an obsession with documenting everything that I see, feel, hear and think. I want to write because if ever one day I forget everything, I can always go back to my scribbles and learn how to feel again. 

I want to write because I am a glass full of thoughts and I do not want to drown in my own musings.