Hello everyone! Finally, I met my little baby two days ago. Meet Kostandin guise!
My labor journey was overwhelming, but worth it. At the moment, we are still at the hospital. Will be posting our labor adventures soon!
You think you’re okay until you wake up at 3 in the morning sobbing your heart out remembering everything that you once had but now so out of your reach. It’s okay. Cry it all out. Cry until you run out of tears. Cry as loud as you need to. Hit a pillow. Cry to a pillow. Burry your face in it. Scream. Stay up if you need to. Cry it all out. Don’t go back to sleep until you feel a tad bit better. Cry until your eyes hurt, until they’re red, until they’re swollen. After all, you need it. Let all your emotions out. You deserve it. Don’t keep it all in. You don’t want those to stay in your heart. The moment you close your eyes and fall deep into sleep, you will have the best sleep of your life. You will wake up, maybe not close to happy, but you’ll wake up with heavy eyes and you’ll wake up hungry. You will want to eat and please do something for yourself. Run. Jog. Walk. Ride a bike. This is just a start.
What’s for me will always be for me. Who’s meant to be in my life, will be there forever or close to it atleast. So I don’t stress. I don’t sweat. I don’t always try to seek for validation. Sometimes, maybe. I’m only human. We all crave it. But it is what it is. I let things go. I let things happen. I don’t try to get out of my own way to stop something or someone. I don’t waste any time or energy on things that I cannot control. I’ve been hurt from it before and now I just choose to sit back and let life take me wherever it takes me. I let life take negative people out. I learned that if you don’t stress about it, life will gladly do that for you, and when it does, just let it. Ride with it. Work on moving on instead. Save all your energy for yourself.
The word sorry does nothing but piss me off. Congratulations, you have officially made me hate that word. You did something wrong. And you say sorry. No. Don’t give me that bull. Sorry so the ball is in my court? Sorry to make me think you really are, when we all know you have done this before. Sorry so that you can get another pass to do it again? How about shove the sorry up your behind. How about do something about it. How about don’t tell me sorry and just prove that you really are. Because I’m getting really tired of it. I’m tired to the point where I don’t even want to see your face anymore. Because everytime I do, it’s like the word “sorry” is written all over your face. I just want to smack it. I’m starting to hate you as much as I hate that word. Prove me wrong, or stay away from me.
One day, I hope you look back at what we had, and regret every single thing you did to let it end. When you chose to look at the “neighbor’s grass”, and always said it was greener. Instead of taking care of what you have, you drooled over what you did not. I hope you regret choosing to be around people who you think is cool, rather than staying with the one who would wait for you when you come home, always leaving the lights on for you. You had it all, you just did not realize it. I hope you regret putting me right at the bottom of your every list. I hope you realize that you lost someone who you could come home to after an exhausting day. I hope you regret leaving me out in the open knowing I trusted you with my emotions and my heart. I hope one you regret everything. And when you realize that you have made a mistake, it will be too late.
Do not be surprised when people promise you that they’re not going to change, but then they do. Some people change when their feelings toward something changes. There’s nothing you can do about it. Some people grow up. They learn how to work and live around some things.. There’s nothing permanent in this world. Even loving someone. How much you love a person cannot ever stay in one spot. It will either progress, or fail. You’ll either stay and nourish a relationship, or find something better. Either or, change is around. Change doesn’t have to be bad, unlike how most people make them seem to be. People somehow like to only focus on the negative side of everything. It’s time to change that. Change can be amazing. Don’t take it for granted. Change is good.