HEARTS DO NOT BREAK EVEN

I have only been around for twenty two years and I know I have learned quiet a decent amount of wisdom and lessons. One of those is the fact that hearts do not break even. Everybody wants closure right? When it comes to separation especially. Good or bad. Closure is one of the things that people do not really get a lot when going through a break up. That’s why a lot of us hang on for too long. We wait around. Still hopeful. 

Someone could break your heart today, and then move on tomorrow like nothing ever happened to them, while you’re in bed crying your heart out and over thinking about what you could’ve done differently. 

So, what do we do? Well first, you’ve got to admit that things just happen. Sometimes for no reason at all. No justifying or you’ll spend your life questioning every little thing that happens to you. Sometimes, things just happen. So, it’s possible  that he just woke up and realized he didn’t want to be with you? Yes. Oh yes. So.. Take that as your closure and go. Run while you can. 

Take a good look at yourself. After that, ask yourself if you’re proud of how you are, or pay attention to every little details of your face. Pamper yourself. You’ve given your best. You don not deserve by less than that. 

Chin up and look forward. Doesn’t mean jump into another person. Breathe in and out. Run. Take care of yourself. Sooner or later, you’ll meet the one who will treat you how you want to be treated. 

Do not settle for less just because you’re scared to be alone. The best is worth the wait. Keep your standards high. You won’t be alone forever. Use this time to reflect and appreciate yourself. 

THIS IS JUST A START

You think you’re okay until you wake up at 3 in the morning sobbing your heart out remembering everything that you once had but now so out of your reach. It’s okay. Cry it all out. Cry until you run out of tears. Cry as loud as you need to. Hit a pillow. Cry to a pillow. Burry your face in it. Scream. Stay up if you need to. Cry it all out. Don’t go back to sleep until you feel a tad bit better. Cry until your eyes hurt, until they’re red, until they’re swollen. After all, you need it. Let all your emotions out. You deserve it. Don’t keep it all in. You don’t want those to stay in your heart. The moment you close your eyes and fall deep into sleep, you will have the best sleep of your life. You will wake up, maybe not close to happy, but you’ll wake up with heavy eyes and you’ll wake up hungry. You will want to eat and please do something for yourself. Run. Jog. Walk. Ride a bike. This is just a start. 

FIX THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THE FLOWER GROWS, NOT THE FLOWER

When the flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower. ” 

I couldn’t agree with this quote more. If you’re in a relationship and you’re going through tough times with your other half, I know it can be hard to see through the arguments and emotions you are currently dealing with. Feeling like your other half is unhappy? I’m sure everybody have experienced that before. We feel like we aren’t doing enough to make our other halves happy. We start questioning ourselves if it’s us and it can get very complicated and confusing. Then some start to assume things which is a huge no no. Basically everything around us can impact how we see and think of things and I say this because it’s true. We forget to look at what’s important. If you want a relationship to last first of all, you have to be selfless. And not only look at your other half and you. You also have to look at the situation or whatever it is that is surrounding both of you. This would be the perfect time to reflect on some things. Important things. Reflect on what you have been contributing to the relationship. Reflect on what you have done to nourish your relationship. Those are the important things we need to keep in mind. 

THOUGHTS: INDEPENDENT PRINCESSES

Maybe the princess can save herself, that sounds like a good story too. Infact, I think people should write stories like that more often. It sounds more realistic. It sounds independent and strong. It doesn’t mean that your prince will never arrive, but nowadays you have to know how to save yourself too. You cannot always depend on anyone. Prince Charming should be a plus, not a must. People need to write more stories about making it alone or achieving happiness alone. Because there’s nothing wrong with being alone. For awhile, or forever. We need to write more stories about making sure little girls know that it’s okay to enjoy life without a prince. We need to stop painting a picture where they grow up believing that someone, a boy, is going to come and rescue them one day and everything will be rainbows and butterflies, because it’s not always true. Instead, we need to teach them how to be independent. That they will still kickass even without a boy. They can own the world. On their own if they prefer to. 

WRITING: HOW FAR WILL I GO?

I have made a habit of fucking up my life. I fell in love with a bad guy thinking I could change him. Silly me. Turned out, he ended up changing me. When I was a little girl, I saw my father lost his life to lung cancer. Swore up and down, over my dead beautiful body, that I would never lay a finger on a cig. Now I can’t go about my day without a cancer stick. One or two, sometimes three. My room is a mess and surprisingly, it hasn’t bothered me. I dream of dreaming about wanting change, but so far this mess feels nice. I am aware of what and how I look like. I feel my mother’s disgust when she calls and ask how I am. I am shamed. But not really. It’s like I live to screw myself over more. It’s like I want to push it and see how far it goes. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I die. We all do. 

KEEP FIGHTING

Great things are going to happen. Keep fighting and keep your head up. People are going to stand in your way. There are going to be a lot of temptations in the way that will make you think twice about your goals. You won’t understand your emotions and the weather will confuse you. People will be mean. People will tempt you to settle. People will try to convince you to stay. You will witness some things that will discourage you. There are going to be some new ideas made to divert your attention from what you’re set to do and what you promised yourself to do. You are going to be tired, exhausted and you’re going to doubt what you’re capable of. You’re going to wonder if you’re really meant to acheive your goal. But keep fighting and don’t worry. as long as you’re giving your best, it will all work out and you wil get there.