TO MY FATHER 

Every once in a while, at night and sometime during a great day and even in my best days, I think of you. I say every once in a while because I admit, sometimes I forget you even existed. Until I wash out all my make up off, look at myself in the mirror and realize I can never, even if I wanted to, forget you. But it’s not like I want to. I don’t. In fact, I force myself to remember. But as time passes, and as I get older everyday, my memories get blurry and I am afraid that one day I won’t be able to visualize anything anymore, I’m afraid I’ll lose that ability.  Every time I reminisce I become unsure if the past events in my head really happened. It saddens me, but it’s not something I can control. It hurts but I cannot stop thinking of your memory. It’s the only thing I have left of you other than the fading old sepia pictures on the shelf. A shelf that is not even in my own home. I miss you, I do every night. I miss you every time I see a father and daughter together. It makes me think of when you were still here. I can still remember your face and I can still remember the way you smell. I still have a picture of you in my wallet, have had it ever since you left this world. 12 years ago. And it will stay in there 12 years more. 

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