MAYBE I WAS MEANT TO BE ALONE

Maybe I was meant to be alone. Maybe I wasn’t meant to fall in love with anyone. I mean, I would love to. I would love to be feeling all woozy for someone. I would love to wake up next to someone and smile and be all thankful for it like what I see in the movies. I would love to feel all the butterflies in the world explode in my stomach. But I just can’t. I can’t bring myself into liking someone even. Nobody gave me the spark that everybody talks about. Is it even real? I don’t want to pretend either. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I can’t even picture myself with anyone. Let alone love someone. I know what love is, or I should say I have an idea. Because I love someone. My mother. Other than that I don’t feel anything. Am I born numb? Should I be thankful for it? Because it shields me from getting hurt? Maybe I was meant to be alone. And if love was real, I guess it’s something out of my reach. For now, or forever. 

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