MID AFTERNOON


It’s mid afternoon. Usually when you did not have to go to work, you would convince me to lay in bed almost all day until I tell you that my head is starting to hurt from laying down too much. You loved sleep so much and I loved you just as much. So sometimes I would say yes and watch you sleep. I have always wondered how you did not get headaches from sleeping too much. You were different. More often than not you chose to go to a park and take a walk with me and only me, rather than to hang out with other people. You liked to be alone, you said. I was your home and you were mine. You were my best friend and we just clicked like that. 

It’s mid afternoon and our home that used to be full of love and warmth feels so empty and quiet. I hear nothing but the clock ticking and my heart still racing. I wonder where you are. I still cannot bare to absorb the fact that you may be not thinking about me. Even when you have already told me that I was not on your mind anymore. I sit here in front of these papers that you have decided to serve me and my cup of half way full of coffee that already went cold. It has been sitting here since this morning when I decided to sit and attempted to understand how this is all happening and what is going to happened next. So far I have not gotten anywhere yet. I cannot feel my legs and my cheeks are numb. Where are you? 

It’s mid afternoon and I want you to come home and tell me that this is all a bad dream, or tell me this is all a mistake and take everything you said to me back and try to make me forget. I need you to come home and wipe my tears away and tell me everything is okay because you are here now. I want to feel safe again but I feel so vulnerable. Infact, I have fallen alone and I am in pieces all over the floor. My chest feels like I am 40 feet deep under water. I am barely breathing.  

It’s mid afternoon and I am holding a pen. My hand is sweating. Has been since this morning. Do we really have to do this? Is she that especial that you have decided to trade everything for her? 

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